Hi

If you're reading this..

Thank you 🐮

Random

Hi

What would it feel like to be a bystander. 

Your body is present, but you?

 Transparent.

Hey, if there's anything that could make me smile..

You're the reason why.

Thank you

Errrrrrrrr

https://youtu.be/MDt1Ed_Qwlo

Yeap.. just got back from phuket and yeah, it was fun.. as always

Ok mainly we are having too much fun with our bikes.. 

-------------------------

As of after that, i donnoe why im like questioning myself at night nearly almost everyday..

"What do you want in life actually?"

Coz apparently alot of ppl are questioning too

I have alot of things in mind,

And i want to do so much more..

So the actual question is..

"So what then..??"

Well a little bird reminded me i have this blog..

Thank you for reminding and hope you enjoyed my posts.. be it sad or happy, just alittle bit of what i have gone through in life..

And here i am again, opening back my not so secret diary

kalau dah jodoh tak ke mana..

ya Allah

what has become of me??

why did i snapped just like that??

ya Allah

will she ever forgive me for what i have done?

what wrong did she do to get something like that from me?

what made me do something  like that?

~~~~~~~~

i don't know what overcame my mind that i reacted that way..

~distraught~

the only i expectation i had was for her to appreciate

me and what I've done for her..

i guess yesterday was the other way round..

maybe it's just not the right time to do something like that..

my emotions, my ego, my selfish ways went full bar..

and i thought something dramatic like coming over late at night

to pass her long awaited birthday gift

with a surprise

would make her very happy

but nope, just partly happy

~~~~~~~~~

i was turned down, indirectly..

i thought she would be happy of my presence

but no, it was alil bit late at night for her

the moment she knew i was there,

"it's late at night, what are you  doing here?"

well she's not wrong..

it is quite late at night and unnoticed

i told myself,

if she really want me to be there

she would at least ask me to stay.

she did, but like after asking me alot of times

"why are u not at home? why are u out late?"

(out of sympathy? i hope so not)

but she's not at wrong,

she was held back by her parents from going out late at night,

but still she decided to go to the lift to meet me..

but i felt unwanted

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm not a singer that can sing my feeling to you

I'm not rich to shower you with luxury and wealth

I'm not a comedian to make you laugh all the time

I'm not a model to dress up well and look good

i am what you see

the same guy since the 1st time we met

but..

i just want to be that someone that you look forward too

i just want to be that someone that you would feel comfortable around with

i just want to be that someone that listens to all your problems and doubts

i just want to be that someone that will be by your side

no matter what..

as much as what i want to be for you

is what i wanted from you too..

and like all hippies quote says,

i would want to be that someone that could 

kiss you unconditionally

hug you by surprise

carry you by my back

bring you home to meet my parents not my bed

i wish i could do everything and anything with you..

~~~~~~~

but then again

maybe she's right

i should have not made one-sided decisions

i should have not made my own assumptions

~~~~~~~

after what have happened,

this mark as a lesson learned

for both of us..

i hope

~we're still not standing on the same level~

dilemma of a pre enlistee :)

a few more days before serving national service..

alot is going on i have to say..

my family falling apart

friends gone to who knows where

and as for me, falling for someone..

right lady wrong time..

i don't know what to say

i don't know what to do..

i don't want her to suffer coz of me

well i've seen friends having major problems due to this

- not enough time

- girl goes out with some other guys

mainly girlish problems.

we have to correct it

BUT THIS GIRL.

my gosh,

i don't know if she playing it out

or she's really for real

she understands

she listens

she waits

she talk things out

don't know if she's playing behind my back

but damn you girl, why now..

i'm so in love with you :)

i really do